VANITY
	First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.

UGLY
	A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said: "Gosh, your ugly aren't you?, I've never seen anyone so hideous as you before" "Young man" she replied. " I didn't come here to be insulted". "Really", he said, "Where do you usually go ?"

BEAUTY MUD
	Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

SAD FACTS
	There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than Alzheimer's research. By 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky breasts, never-ending erections and no recollection of what to do with either of them..